A radical new alternative to personal and business contracts...
built on trust and respect.
Imagine...
Bringing an end to a 5 year lawsuit with a conversation and the presence of respect...replacing legal contracts with those interested and willing to engage at a higher level...rewriting and redefining relationships with oneself and others...
The stories are inspiring...
- Set the foundation of a new relationship
- Redefine an existing relationship
- Structure your organization to operate with grace and respect
It's often inevitable. Even with the best of intentions, there's misinterpretation, different styles, fear, and all that other stuff that we don't want to talk about or admit to. Being vulnerability is dangerous and costly. Yet how would it be if we could think backwards...imagining a worst case scenario (unfortunately we only have to look at our last difficult relationship)...what did you need? What could you have done that would have made a difference? Instead of waiting and hoping for the best, set it right upfront. In a different way.
This doesn't mean that it will be easy and rosy the whole way, or for that matter that you'll continue the relationship but it will mean that you'll go in with clearer intent, with unique guidelines from which to navigate through the hard times. And in the end, if it's meant to dissolve, you'll have the tools from which to do that too, with honor and respect, remembering what you value(d) about the relationship from the beginning.
The State of Grace Document consists of:
- The Story of Us — the story of the individuals as they see one another while things are going smoothly. This is done in order to capture that affirmative perspective and remind ourselves of the true beauty of the other person in the event things go astray and we lose sight of what we once found so amazing.
- Workstyles and Warning Signs — Each person creates a bullet-pointed list of his or her Work Styles and Warning Signs. The Work Styles is an account of how you like to work in general. Do you need to think out loud with a group, work alone at times, need an agenda? The Warning Signs lists the external clues that show signs of stress. Do you go quiet, immerse yourself deeper in your work, become a perfectionist?
- List of Questions — The parties craft a list of questions they commit to answer for one another that will help bring a return state of peace if the need arises. Questions like: What am I afraid of? What truths do I need to tell? What do I need from you right now? What part does money play in this situation? What do I gain by continuing/ending this relationship? Is it time to redefine or redirect our work together?
- Long-term Agreement — They also agree that if by chance something unimaginable happens and they can’t manage to come together to go over the questions to return to a state of grace, they commit that they’ll not do anything to outright harm, speak negatively to others about, or create more pain for the other. They also agree on a long-range time frame of five years to get back together to find peace if they can’t seem to make it happen before then.
- Expectations — Many people include an Expectations section in the Document where they can list the type of things contracts traditionally cover in terms of what's to be done, agreed upon or intentioned.
"...we also agree that if by chance something unimaginable happens and we can’t manage to come together to go over the questions to return to a state of grace, we commit that we will not do anything to outright harm, speak negatively to others about, or create more pain for the other."Imagine that.